The Risk
by The Fallen Sky
Summary: Is Clark willing to risk his heart a second time?
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Risk  
Author: The Fallen Sky  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Chlark  
Summary: Is Clark willing to risk his heart a second time?  
Warning: There be angst ahead.  
A/N: This is set in a future AU, and it's told from Clark's POV. Also, the events in the story take place over the course of several weeks, though there isn't a specific time-frame. Huge thanks to Dee for helping me iron out a few wrinkles.

Feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

* * *

"I'm sorry, Clark." She says in a small voice filled with pain and remorse. "I'm _so_ _sorry_."

He can hear her crying, and it breaks his heart, at least it would if his heart wasn't already shattered into a million pieces.

As he listens to her continue to cry, his first instinct is to go to her, wrap her in his arms and comfort her. But her tears are a result of her own actions, actions which have caused him immeasurable pain, so instead of going to her, he stops listening.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'd say 'I'm sorry', but I know you don't wanna hear it."

_Truer words were never spoken_, he thinks. In fact, he doesn't want to hear anything Oliver has to say. What he really wants is to tear his arms off and snap his neck, but he doesn't. No matter how much he hates Oliver, he won't hurt him, won't lower himself to his level.

Oliver, looking quite remorseful and distraught, continues. "I fucked up. We both did. And if I could go back in time and change things, I would...but I can't."

Running a hand over his face and through his hair, Oliver sighs in frustration. "I'm not asking you to forgive me. In fact, I expect you to hate me for the rest of your life." He pauses, making eye contact to emphasize his next point. "But I _am_ asking you to forgive _her_."

_Forgive her for ripping my heart out and stomping on it? Forgive her for betraying me? Sure, why not?_ His thoughts are filled with sarcasm, anger and hurt.

"Her cousin had just died, and she was grieving," Oliver says softly. "You know what grief can do to a person's judgment."

He remains silent, his face a mask of calm and emotional detachment.

Not really expecting a response but hoping for one, Oliver presses on. "She loves you."

Those three words do evoke a response.

Slowly, he moves toward Oliver, his steps measured and filled with purpose.

Oliver, already nervous, becomes even more so as The Man of Steel comes to a stop mere inches from him. He can hear Oliver's heartbeat racing as he stares him down, but, to his credit, Oliver doesn't move or break eye contact.

Oliver's voice is soft, almost pleading, as he speaks. "She loves you. You have to know that."

He does know, but it doesn't diminish his pain. Quite the contrary, it only amplifies it.

"She never meant to hurt you, and it's killing her that she's done just that."

He knows that, too. He's heard her say something similar, has heard her crying for hours on end because of what she's done.

"She wants another chance, wants to earn your trust again, wants to prove to you that she's worth it, wants to show you that she loves you and only you."

And he wants to give her that chance, but he's afraid she'll hurt him again, and he knows he couldn't survive having his heart ripped out twice by her.

"I get that you're hurting, and you have every right, but I'm asking you not to make the biggest mistake of your life."

Mistake? The biggest mistake he's made is trusting this piece of shit, thinking he was his friend, and he's not about to do that again.

Anger flares within him, and his eyes glow orange, yet his face remains stoic.

Oliver is startled by the sudden change in mood and flinches back, afraid he'll finally get what's coming to him.

Nothing happens. He remains rooted to his spot, his eyes smoldering, giving evidence to his anger.

Several long moments pass in silence before Oliver musters enough courage to speak.

"I know you love her. You wouldn't be so angry and hurt if you didn't."

It's true. He does love her. After what she did, he doesn't want to, but he can't help it. His heart, what's left of it, is hers.

"I'm just saying, don't throw away everything you could have with her because of one mistake." Taking a slow breath, he continues. "She loves you, and you love her. Don't forget that."

He hasn't forgotten and is incapable of forgetting. He knows she loves him, but he also knows she hurt him. At the moment, the hurt overshadows the love, but the love is still there, simmering beneath the surface, waiting and hoping for a chance to boil over.

Oliver's words have given him something to think about, but he's done listening, for now.

He remains silent, his eyes continuing to glow as he stares at Oliver. Oliver stares back for a moment but casts his eyes to the floor as shame and guilt for his actions consume him.

Without acknowledgement or preamble, he zips away, leaving Oliver alone with his guilt and shame.


	3. Chapter 3

He's floating high above the clouds, at the very limit of the atmosphere. It's quiet here, quiet and peaceful.

It's times like this, when he's alone and can pretend that the weight of the world isn't resting on his shoulders, that he cherishes. At times like this, he can forget his troubles. Sadly, he's unable to forget his current troubles.

His mind is reeling from the torrent of emotions he's feeling. Never in his life has he been so confused.

Summoning his focus, he goes over his situation in a very logical manner, removing all the emotional aspects. When he does, he's left with two choices. He can either forgive her or not forgive her.

It sounds so simple.

Unfortunately, it's not simple at all.

If he doesn't forgive her, his heart will never be whole again, but he'll never have to worry or be afraid that she'll hurt him again.

If he does forgive her, he'll be opening himself up for even more hurt, but he'll also be giving himself a shot at the kind of happiness he's always dreamed of but has continually eluded him.

He mulls over his options for what feels like hours, but he's as torn as ever over what to do.

On a whim, he activates his hearing and zeroes in on her heartbeat.

He feels a wave of serenity wash over him as the rhythm of her heart lulls him into a coma-like state of calm and relaxation.

It's always amazed him how profoundly she's able to affect him, even with something as ordinary as the beating of her heart.

As he continues to listen, he lets his mind wander, reliving every moment of their time together over the years, the good, the bad _and_ the ugly.

His trip down memory lane is rudely interrupted by the sound of frantic screams.


	4. Chapter 4

The sky is filled with dark plumes of smoke and a haze of dust and debris from the damaged and collapsed buildings.

He should be sifting through the rubble looking for survivors, but he's lying prone amongst the wreckage, his strength sapped, his body battered and broken.

He's won the battle, but he fears he may soon lose the war between life and death.

Chaos rages around him as rescue workers scramble to save lives, but he's oblivious to it.

To him, the world is silent and moving in slow motion. He briefly wonders if he's moving at super-speed, but part of him knows that what he's experiencing is the beginning of the end..._his_ end.

It's odd, but for all the battles he's fought, for all the times he's faced his potential demise, he never truly believed it would happen. Even before he had people telling him he didn't have an end and that he would live forever, he just had a sense, an unexplainable and unfounded belief that his time would never come. That probably explains why he's never feared death, his own death anyway.

Even now, as his life slowly slips away, he's not afraid. In fact, part of him welcomes the inevitable.

That's when he hears it, a sound piercing the cocoon of silence that surrounds him. He's not sure what it is, but it's familiar.

He summons the last remnants of his strength and focuses on the sound. Slowly but surely, the sound grows louder, more coherent, and he immediately recognizes it.

It's the sound of her heart.

A small smile graces his lips. If he's going to die, it's fitting that the last sound he hears is the sound he's come to equate with hope and love, the sound of her heartbeat.

His strength wanes, his vision blurs, but the rhythmic beating of hope and love remains strong and constant.

The end draws nearer, and he has but one regret. He never got to tell her...

The darkness of oblivion finally claims him.


	5. Chapter 5

He awakens slowly, his mind a fog of confusion.

He doesn't know where he is or even if he's alive. Though, judging by the pain that shoots through his body when he tries to move, he's pretty sure he's not dead.

He hasn't opened his eyes yet, worried he won't like what he sees, so he listens.

The first sound he hears is the last sound he remembers hearing before he blacked out. As before, a small smile graces his lips as the sound of hope and love fills his ears and suffuses his soul.

Taking slow, deep breaths, he can feel his strength slowly returning. He's not sure how, but he's certain his recovery is being aided by her and the magic that is her heart.

After several moments, the pain he felt is gone, and it's then that he notices his right hand is entwined with someone else's.

The mystery hand is smaller and more delicate than his own, a woman's hand.

Opening his eyes, he's not surprised to see that he's in the infirmary of the JL headquarters. Aside from the mystery woman, he's alone.

He's both anxious and nervous as he turns his head and gets his first glimpse of his female visitor.

She's sitting in an uncomfortable looking chair, her legs curled under her body and her head resting awkwardly against the back of the chair, sleeping. Her clothes are rumpled and her hair unkempt. From the look of her, he's pretty sure she's been here a while.

What draws his attention is her face. There's puffiness around her eyes and dried tear tracks running down her cheeks.

She's been crying a lot lately, and knowing that she's been crying over him makes him feel like someone is squeezing his heart. Again, he's struck by the urge to wrap her in his arms and just hold her. He's on the verge of doing just that when something stops him.

* * *

_He decided to come home early from patrol, because it was a slow night, but also because he wanted to spend some quality time with his girlfriend._  
_  
Being a good boyfriend, he brought her flowers and wanted to surprise her by making her dinner._  
_  
When he got to her apartment, he let himself in with the key she'd given him._  
_  
The lights were on, and he could hear soft music coming from the stereo which meant she was home, but he didn't see her in the living area or the kitchen._  
_  
Curious as to where she was, he made his way toward the bedroom._  
_  
As he drew near, he noticed that the bedroom door was open, and he could hear her pleasure-filled moans coming from within._  
_  
A lascivious smile lit up his face as he imagined her pleasuring herself._  
_  
Not content to simply imagine the scene, he stepped into the room._  
_  
The sight that greeted him caused his blood to run cold and his heart to stop._  
_  
There, on the bed, was his girlfriend and her ex-husband._

* * *

He can still remember how their naked bodies entwined, the way her legs wrapped around Oliver's waist as he slowly pumped in and out of her, the sheen of sweat that clung to their bodies, the way she clawed at his back.

Pain flares in his chest at the memory, and he feels sick to his stomach.

He's about to pull his hand away from hers and super-speed away, when she begins to stir, lifting her head and slowly opening her eyes.

As their eyes meet, he's unable to move or look away. He's transfixed by the pain, the sheer misery he sees looking back at him.

Without conscious thought, he gives her hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

That one, simple, seemingly insignificant action causes her heart to quicken, and he's certain he sees hope flare in her eyes.

He can tell she wants to speak, wants to say so many things, but restrains herself, presumably out of fear of ruining the moment, of saying the wrong thing and losing him forever.

He finds he's grateful for the silence, because he's also afraid words will ruin this moment and put the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

The memory of her betrayal is fresh in his mind, but as they continue to hold hands and gaze into each other's eyes, the memory slowly starts to fade.

Likewise, the pain that gripped his heart begins to ease, slowly becoming a dull ache.

_She loves you, and you love her._

Those words echo in his mind, and he can't escape their truth.

No matter how much pain they cause each other, no matter how far apart they drift, they can't escape the fact that they always have and always will love each other.

Unable to speak the words he knows she longs to hear, but also unable to remain silent, he's struck by a wondrous idea. Never having had a way with words, he's reminded of their first Valentine's as a couple, specifically the poem he recited to her that expressed how he felt about her far better than he ever could.

His voice low and shaky with emotion, he says,

"It is always you  
The hushed whisper in a crowd  
The thought forever racing through my mind  
The desire burning in my soul  
Would that I could tell you..."

As he finishes, her eyes begin to shine with unshed tears and the corners of her mouth curve upward, because she knows she hasn't lost him.

A mirroring smile blossoms on his lips as he caresses the back of her hand with his thumb.

Things are far from good between them, but there's a sense of hope that they'll be able to survive this and move past it. It'll take time and a lot of effort, but he knows it'll be worth it, because she's worth it.

* * *

**A/N: The title of the poem, which is one of my own creations, is "I love you".**


End file.
